He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
