I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
