If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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