fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
