The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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