I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
