watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish i was in the wii world.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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