He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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