I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one