Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone