I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
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officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.