Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
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So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”