I want to stick my p in your. b.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
