I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
