Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
