I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
