bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
