youre lurking in front of me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My vagina just clenched in fear
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
