I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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