I'm really into asian looking animals
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
