If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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