Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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