Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
