I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
