And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
