I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
