I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
