She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
