its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
