If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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