Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
