so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It's Friday. Sex?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My bed smells like the plague
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
