My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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