i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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