I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
