This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
