i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
