Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize