you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
