did you get engaged???
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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