new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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