he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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