A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
