Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
