the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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