she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
