Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
