I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
