Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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