Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
