debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
True college students do jello shots in the library
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