If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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