i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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