what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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