Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
