Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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