I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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