would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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