just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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