The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
